Tuesday, September 25, 2007

At Play in the Shadow of the Moon

It's only tuesday morning, and already it's been a long week. Lemme give you some background.

My project, Dawn, is scheduled to launch this thursday morning at 7:20a EDT (4:20a PDT). I am working prime shift for the launch event, which begins at approximately L-4 and ends at approximately L+8. Some quick math will show that this means Our Hero has to be in the office, on console for a very high stress event, at about 12a PDT and stay there until about 12p PDT. Now, I have never actually had to keep this sort of schedule for anything more than a day; accordingly, I felt it was necessary to ease myself into the schedule a few days in advance to lower the shock to my body and prevent the dreaded head-bob sleepiness during launch. Thus far, I feel like I made the right move by doing this ahead of time, but it's been an interesting road. I'll explain below.

The Setup
I gave some thought to this whole process for a few weeks, and as the schedule firmed up I devised a concrete plan. We had a dress rehearsal for launch on saturday morning, so I decided that for the first day I would just stay up as long as possible, and then sleep as late as I wanted. This worked well; I woke up at 5a on saturday am and stayed up until 5a sunday morning. I then proceeded to sleep until 2p on sunday. This worked pretty well, and basically put me halfway to my goal in just one night; however, it would not have been possible without some prep work. There was a small flaw in this that I discovered, but I'll come back to that later.

I had been warned by some co-workers who worked on the MER project that the key to adjusting to such a radical change to the sleep/awake schedule is ensuring that you have a dark, quiet environment in which to bed down. After a couple pieces of posterboard, a cheap thick quilt, some penny nails and half a roll of duct tape, I was set. With door closed, my bedroom is nearly pitch black. Add a pair of decent earplugs and I was feeling pretty confident. I had no trouble sleeping sunday morning afternoon, and was feeling not too bad on sunday.

As I mentioned above, there was just one hitch in this. The schedule that I adopted on saturday/sunday did get my schedule several hours later and made me tired enough to sleep, but it did not get me to bed when it was light out, nor did it get me awake when it was dark out. This turns out to make a big difference, as I found out today when I was able to achieve those conditions. Now I wasn't tired when I woke -- I got at least 8 hours of sleep -- but I felt...odd. Like I could hear my body saying "You're not supposed to do this". Fucking with the circadian rhythms of your body does things that you don't anticipate. For instance, your body temperature peaks at 6p and bottoms at about 4a. Typically, when you wake you are used to the sensation of your body gradually warming throughout the day; here, it's doing exactly the opposite. The closest thing I can compare this to is the feeling of an impending fever.

The Implementation
So I was set. Dark room? Check. Relative quiet? Check. All phones turned off (with the exception of the electronic work leash)? Check. Now what's next?

Some research indicated, as one might expect, that another crucial step to tricking the body into a new schedule is shifting your eating schedule to match your sleep schedule. So this means cereal and OJ at 8p, lunch at about 2a, and dinner at about 8a. Sound gnarly? In truth, it's not so bad. One of the pluses of this whole experience has been the opportunity to explore a bit of late-night Los Angeles (spoiler: it ain't that great); more on that below.

Another element that I had to put in here was activity. I knew that if I sat in one place for any period of time, I'd fade fast (hell, that happens to me on a normal schedule). So no sitting at home in front of the computer or TV, nor any long hours at the office trudging over test data (not to mention the fact that I'm enjoying my last few days of rest, as I don't know when my next day off will come). So I've made sure to weave in some exploring and a bit of work alongside my schedule shifting activities.

The last two points are the most essential. Stay hydrated and exercise. My gym closes at 11, so what's really driving my wake-up time is not when I need to be at work, but will I have enough time to brush my teeth, eat breakfast, and get to the gym before it closes. In line with this, it's pretty easy forget to keep up with the H2O in between the coffee, tea, energy drinks, coffee, coffee, ... So yea; your body needs water, so drink that shit!

The Results
Thus far, I am pretty satisfied with the payoff. I was basically shifted within two days, and I'm feeling pretty good here on day three. The hardest part, by far, has been getting used to the 'oddities' of this and psyching myself out. When I climb into bed, my room is dark, even though I know it's light outside; putting those thoughts out of my mind and concentrating on sleep is really essential to making it work. As for the acclimatization, I suppose I should have expected that. I guess that will be fodder for next time, which hopefully there won't be. I fully believe that doing this regularly, for any extended period of time, would dramatically reduce your lifespan. I mean, it is fundamentally wrong: you are asking your body to do something that it was not designed to do. Would you drive your car only in reverse? I tend to think not (note that I do concede that scene in the "Hypnotize" video and a chase scene in some movie that is currently escaping me, but that's not Real Life anyways).

Observations & Future Work
I have to admit, I was surprised at how easy it seemed for me to shift over. It has been an enlightening experience overall, not just from a technical aspect of how the hell do I do this, but what you observe in the process. Coming in to the office and seeing all the doors closed in spite of the knowledge that in two days time it will rival a beehive in terms of activity certainly puts things in perspective. It also allows for some quiet contemplation of the last year and a half of my life (spoiler: wasted).

You notice things when you are out late, Things like: it's nice driving on the freeway when there aren't nine hundred million others there with you. The people out at this time seem to be pretty chill, and not too sketchy, as one might assume. At times, there are way more people out at this time of the night that you may expect (which leads me to ask: what do these people do? Are they gravers like me?)

As I mentioned before, I have had a chance to sample the nearly non-existent late night scene in this town. For a town that prides itself on such debauchery and beauty (starfuckers included), there ain't shit to do after about 11. There are some bars, yes, but not much beyond that (and even they close at 2). I have found some good stuff, and I'll log it here for reference and for anyone else who might be interested. Can you imagine this, though? In this entire town, there is not one bookstore, music store, movie theater, or (from what I can tell) coffee shop that is open all night; indeed, the first three all close around 11. There's an all night bowling alley in Canoga Park and an all night newsstand in Sherman Oaks, but not much beyond that in terms of amusement (note that I haven't ventured to either of those yet). Here's what I have found.


  • Fred 62 This place appears to be one of LA's favorite nighttime joints. Tons of people know about it, and there was a sizable crowd when I dropped in at 2:30a on monday morning. Had the Noo-Deli (rice noodles with spicy lemongrass broth), which was quite tasty and helped me get through my first full night. Pattaya Thai, a decently rated thai joint that is also open late, is right down the block; I might try to go there sometime this week. I'll let you know if I do.

  • Intelligentsia OK, I admit -- this place isn't open late. But they are open until 11, and if you can get there before closing one cup of this stuff will keep you buzzing for hours (not to mention keeping the tastebuds of a coffee knurd satisfied).

  • Bourgeois Pig Now this place is a gem of a find. It's next door to the Upright Citizens Brigade LA theater (note to self: go here more often), and makes a decent cup (although, strangely, they don't brew any coffee, only espresso drinks). Wicked pastries too. Once I'm out of this hell, I'm going to make sure that I spend more time at UCB followed by some joe and jaw at the pig.

  • What's next?

Sunday, September 23, 2007

UPDATED: See, I TOLD You So

No sooner than I post a story about the 'Leave Britney Alone' moron, than CNN does a piece on him. I knew it! Stay cynical, my faithful legions!

I'll Do What I Want!

The inspiration for the "South Park" episode, and a classic in its own right.


drinking fountains are shorter/
than they used to be/
the swing on the playground don't/
even fit/
me any more/
folklore -- no one's/
supposed to believe/
in the next grade/
write it a hundred times

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Leave This Dude Alone!

The link is to the (now infamous) 'Leave Britney Alone' video published by the dude whose name I refuse to print so as to not give him more publicity. (BTW, this video was posted in response to all the bashing of Brits horrendous 2007 VMA performance.

In any case, this dude is a fucking nutter. Little do many people know, but prior to this video he published a video where he made out with his brother. Yes, really. It was fucking bad. And now, get this: since he's been getting offers for reality shows, that video is no longer posted to YouTube.

Don't be fooled people! You must dig beneath the story.

Don't Tase Me Bro!

So, I'm split on this one. Did the cops overreact? Yea. Was this kid a complete moron? Yep. I love how, when the cops are holind ghim down, he says "Don't tase me, bro!", and then follows it up with an order: " I said don't tase me bro!", as if that was really going to make the cops back off. But on to the important thing: in this video, listen closely to what the kids in the background are saying near the end, including shouts of "Police Brutality!" and "Rodney King!" This, my friends, is pure comedic genius.

Oh, how great it was to be in college. BTW, if you're interested, here's a better video.


i was born wearing pants/
be prepared

ISP's Filtering Your Content

Sure, MPAA demands now, but whose to stop the US Government from imposing some filters through the NSA branch? We're critics of Chinese filtering of the internet. Seems we're not so far off ourselves from doing something similar.

Bring on the Google Internet. At least they're willing to fight back, for now.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

9/11 was funny!

You'll just have to read it yourself.

Protect and Survive

Stumbled on this last night. During the height of the Cold War, the British Gov't created a series of print, radio, and TV spots aimed at 'informing' the populace of the what to do in the event of a nuclear attack. If you thought the stuff that came out after September 11 was creepy (remember duct tape and plastic sheets?), this is downright sick. There are a couple videos on the site linked, and you can find more with a little searching. The one linked directly is extremely strange, almost surreal, especially if you consider that this is something that you'd see while watching TV and eating dinner with the family. Makes me almost happy to have not lived through that.

The wikipedia entry has more background info on the whole campaign.


the save mutilation/
of the human race/
is set on course/
protest and survive/
protest and survive

UPDATE: SAGGY PANTS BASTARDS NOW BREAKING THE LAW

Oh yes! It's not going away. As Reported by A^2 a short time ago, the ban -- nay, making it ILLEGAL -- is still gaining momentum. Apparently we have solved Every Single Problem Facing Our Nation Today and can now start working on the 'little' things.

Fuckers.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Lest you forget, mateys -- It be talk like a pirate day! Ye Scurvy dogs can walk the plank if ye be not likin' the idea. Yarr!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Winnie the Pooh Worships Satan

OMG ROFLCOPTER THIS IS COMEDY GOLD

Seriously, I've been looking for this for so long. I saw it oh so many years ago but lost it, and now it is back.

I also ran across this gem, another Pooh mash-up video set to a Rammstein song. Brilliant -- what else to say?

Ricky-Oh: The Story of Ricky

I found out about this movie in high school, and set out on a quest to find it. Of course, it was fantastic. I ran across these clips while Youtubing today, and had managed to toally forget about this movie until now. Now, of course, I must see it again. Anyone else who's interested let me know.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Requisite September 11 Post

No link to point you to, no somber words to say, just one observation to mark the 6th anniversary:

Tomorrow is once again Tuesday September 11.

I'll close this post with a quote from an e-mail my Dad sent me a week after the fact:

"Here's to an uneventful tuesday"

Well said.


Sometimes the damage is too great/
Or the will is too weak/
What should have been our armor/
Becomes a sharp and burning sword