The truth is...

...that you're a fucking phony hypocrite 'holier-than-thou' slimeball who talked like a real patriot by invoking the memories of the dead of September 11th to pass a stupid flag-burning amendment but acts like the common criminals that I'm sure you're more than eager to put away for lifting a candy bar. Go fuck yourself, douchebag. I hope that they lock your sorry ass in jail where you are raped and beaten on a daily basis, until you're shanked for looking at someone the wrong way in the chow line and your soul descends to the deepest, fieriest pits of hell to rot for the rest of eternity. Then talk to me about those who died on September 11th. You can NEVER atone for that shit, motherfucker. At least now I won't have to hear your stupid name on the news for saying some more wrong shit.

"Whatever happend to 'Crazy'?"

I mean really. I don't think a video game is to blame for the simple fact that parents are unwilling to take responsibilities for certain actions. Sure, video games can be addictive - in fact there are all these studies showing dopamine levels and all that psych mojo - but I think a lot of it is using invalid cause and effect studies. But to do something like this? Hey, I need money to, but I got a job.

Those Who Forget History...

...yea yea yea, we've heard it a million times before. But it is in that spirit that the following post makes its way onto the page. Today, ladies and gents, is the 27th anniversary of the Jonestown "Suicides", so let us never forget the lessons we learned here:

1) Cults are bad, mkay
2) Closet homosexuals claiming to be god are not to be trusted
3) Always check your kool-aid for the faint whiff of cyanide

That's all folks. Stay vigilant!


It feels like somebody put something/
Somebody put something in my drink

Umm, yea, that's one way to do it

Huh...Can't say that I've heard of this one before, but, OMG.

Dahmer Bowling Lanes

Wow. This is disturbing. I mean, waaay disturbing. I cannot, under any circumstances, condone this type of behavior.

BUT, don't tell me that you haven't thought about this before. I mean, not seriously thought about, but in a whimsical, "I-wonder-if-that-would-work" manner.

I know it's not just me...

What's Next?

Oh, I heard about this and thought to myself:

"There is no way in hell that this can be real."

Sure enough, it is. And I'll tell you what -- thems are some damn fine lookin' rocks.

Dubai: The New Japan?

Interesting. I'm too young to remember what people thought when Japanese investors began grabbing up land in the early/mid 80's, so I can't really present a good argument here. I just think it's interesting, especially in light of the article I just read about how the trade deficit is currently larger than its ever been. Apparently, we can't even afford our own land anymore.

How Stella Really Got Her Groove Back

Well, I for one will see this movie in an entirely different light from now on. I could go off and editorialize about this, but I won't because I think I have better things to do with my time. Besides, I wouldn't say anything all that original anyways.

But I do have to ask: am I the only one wondering what this means about Taye Diggs' sexual persuasion? OK, maybe I am the only one, but is that so wrong?

Involuntary Flying Dog

Well, I'm sure the dog deserved it; at the very least, it won't do whatever it did to provoke the rage again.

Three cheers for Capital Punishment!

Retroincabulator

This is one of the most amusing videos I've seen in a while. Not only is it a dead-on spoof of those old techie product spots, but the amount of gibberish langugage they use is twisted enough to almost sound real. Watch and enjoy.

Apparently, We're Really Popular

...well, maybe not. But I like to think we are.

But that's not important right now. Thanks to everyone who gave a big middle finger yesterday. Now, to get on with the rest of my life.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! FUCK YOU, NO!

I am a ball of rage now. I hate having my hand forced and being forced to participate in a mindless, money-consuming, idiotic game that is NOT MY FUCKING JOB! But alas, as I now realize, if I sit on my fat ass and don't do anything about it, I'll be playing into the hands of those who wish to fuck me over whilst telling me they're my best friend in the Whole Wide World. So I'll vote in your pitiful, self-indulgent, moronic, unnecessary, wasteful, pointless, special (as in retarded) election. I'll show you what a middle finger looks like on a punchcard ballot:

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO

Once more, in case you didn't get that:


NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO


Go fuck yourselves. Stop wasting my time, and stop trying to legislate how I live my life. Stop stealing my money to pay you, and then ask me to do your fucking job for you. FUCK YOU.

Sincerely,
Dr. Duke Nukem, Ph.D.
California Citizen
Pissed-off Motherfucker

BTW, I'll be poking the punchcard with my dick.

Fuck You!

Oh yea, take that losers!
Thank you, Jimmy

BTW, a shot of George Carlin last night has refueled my fervor to battle the euphemisms they try to stuff down our throats to mask what's actually going on. In that spirit, join me in never again uttering the phrase intelligent design, because it's masking what's actually happening. It's creationism, and creationism is a purely religion-driven fairy tale, and we all know that religious fairy tales have no place in a science class.

Thank you, that is all.

Shitty Thursday

Like getting every red light on the way to work (which happened to me today), here's today laundry list of dumb shit.

Not Liable? Sure...

Be sure to download the PDF with this one...it's funny
Thought e-mails were private?

This can't be good

Might need to run this one through Babelfish
Don't tell me they've got it right

I suppose it's not all bad:

The Dilbert Blog!

This next one is hilarious, and I don't remember who sent me this link, but it's funny. Probably NSFW, tho. (Interesting side note: The guy who writes this reminds me of an old neighbor of mine in alphabet city...)
Apathy/Conceit