Submission Please...

Some random collected submissions from the past few days.

FoTFC (that's Friend of The Fourth Circle for you acronym freaks) V/Omega submitted these amusing links. The first is for Red Flags, not so much an absurdity but rather a site dedicated to debunking the bullshit from the medical industry (note carefully chosen words). A follow on link to a really great letter to the President of Colgate is also recommended. Finally, V-O was kind enough to point us to an amusing take on last night's "speech" by the "President". Note that this is clearly a spoof, but quite amusing nonetheless.

FoTFC A^2 (who provided us with the earlier post about the Randy Roumanian Religiati) points us to this link from the Almighty Slashdot about a company proposing to create zombie animals, and possibly zombie humanoids within the next year. I don't know about this...I mean, has no one seen Night of the Living Dead? And this time, the zombies will be made of real rotting human flesh, not braunschweiger.

Barbara...They're coming to get you, Barbara...

Thanks to our guest posters. And don't forget to keep those links coming in!

Tom Cruise is God

Finally found a link with some video.

You know it's scary when you long for the days when movie stars just tried to do something they weren't good at, like dancing or singing, but this is ridiculous. Please. The absolute last thing I need is medical advice from Tom Cruise. I'm just waiting for Allen Fundt to pop out and Tom to look into The Camera and say "hello, I'm Tom Cruise. I'm not a nutjob, but I've been playing one in the international media for the past three months".

god save us...

The Onion Gets Futurific

I think this is brilliant. Not only that, many of the stories on there seem eerily possible.

Scary

Yuck!

"Doctors in Bangladesh say they have removed a long-dead foetus from the abdomen of a teenage boy who was complaining of stomach pains."

Nuff said.

10 Qs for PG: Part Deux

Now it's my turn, Letterman Style (those Time fukkers stole his deal!).

Ahem.

Drum roll please...

10. Where the fuck is UBL?
    
9. If you know, why don't you fucking do something?
   
8. Are you a fucking moron?
   
7. Have you ever smoked crack?
   
6. Are you smoking crack right now?
   
5. What the fuck kind of name is 'Porter' anyways?
   
4. Did your mother drop you on your head repeatedly as a child?
   
3. How did you ever get elected? Oh...
   
2. How many dicks did you have to suck to get this gig?
   
1. Are you a fucking moron?
   

Amen, Brother

This is why I love Pearls.

I tried posting the strip inline but it looked like shit. Make sure you click and check it out.

Welcome to Hell, er, Pennsylvania

I know what you're all going to say.

"Greg, why do you hate on Pennsylvania so much?"

Wanna know why? Because I can. I lived in that barren wasteland of a state for 14 of the best years of my life, and I know its evil inside and out. It's quite sad actually; the history is quite majestic and important to the development of our country in the early years, but oh how the once mighty have fallen.

It truly is the devil's playground, as fas as I am concerned. I mean, when you're second only in stupidity to Kansas, where do you go next? I can see it now:

"PA Citizens Recall Gov Rendell, Elect God as Replacement"

Damn, that's stupid.

Be Saved!

An old favorite of mine, sent to me a while back. Surprisingly, it's still around!

I think one reason why I find this site so amusing/ridiculous is that I've never quite been able to tell if it's real or not. Although, I have to hope that, for the good of humanity, any place that sells Jesus thongs is at least kinda kidding.

As a good web citizen, I feel it's my duty to warn visitors of content that could be considered NSFW (geek acronym alert: Not Safe For Work). For all posts that might rub some the wrong way, I'll rate it on an NFSW scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being mildly offensive and 5 being pink slip territory. Of course this is just my system, and is still highly subjective. Use caution when interpreting the data.

This post gets a 3 on the NSFW scale. Might wanna surf at home.

Funny Little Man, Big Jail Time

Seriously -- was there any doubt that this dude was guilty? I wonder what he's thinking in this picture...(Comments anyone?)



Look at that smirk -- a face not even a mother could love.

And am I the only one who thinks that every single one of these greedy, WASP-y whitebred Gordon Gecko wannabe CEOs looks like a compelling case for eugenics?

And what's more, this is the second story I've posted here about some low-life slimeball from Pennsylvania (this
was the other one). Makes me glad I got the f**k outta dodge...I think it's something in the water.

Exorcism + Crucifixion = Fun!

Oh my, could I be so lucky -- and on a monday nonetheless? This page has only been up a matter of days, and I get a story on my absoulte FAVORITE subject -- wacky sadistic murderous religious nutjobs from Romania!

(As a side note, I bet many of you were not aware that wacky sadistic murderous religious nutjobs from Romania were a favorite subject of mine. Consider yourselves properly informed -- Ed.)

Thanks to A^2 for providing this story.

My favorite quote: "When asked if the nuns had tried to protest against the woman's treatment, she said they had all obeyed the priest."

Follow the herd, just another cow.

Midget Millionaires Makin' Mad Money

OK...I've been seeing these guys on late-nite TV for a while now. And I am well aware of the fact that they don't like to be called midgets (or do they? I always forget the terme du jour), but it works well for for the post title.

Anwyays, I just thought other people should have the pleasure of seeing this stuff. Pay close attention to the testimonials: where do they find these people? On the infomercial, they have this guy with a thick spanish accent -- I thought they were gonna bust out subtitles on this guy.

Most of all, however, something about seeing these identical twin midgets in matching suits pitching get-rich-quick schemes to millions of sleep-deprived suckers just makes me feel kinda, um, dirty.

Goats for Crack?

This story, which I first heard about a few months ago when these mental giants were first arrested, is back in the news. It's still as funny as the day I first read it. The best part? The event in question took place on Christmas Eve. Those heathens!

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4 held in goat-for-coke scheme
      (Yes, that's the actual headline --Ed.)
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Associated Press


Four men were ordered to stand trial in the theft and butchering of a pet pygmy goat, allegedly so its meat could be traded for crack cocaine or money.

James W. Albright, 37, Gilbert W. Fisch, 38, Charles W. Smith Sr., 48, and Charles W. Smith Jr., 20, all of Connellsville, were held on theft, cruelty to animals and related charges yesterday.

Albright allegedly dragged the goat from its pen and tied it to a shrub, where he and Smith Jr. beat it to death on Dec. 24 in Bullskin Township, about 35 miles southeast of Pittsburgh, police said. They then took the goat to Smith's residence, where his father and Fisch skinned it and cut it up, police said.

Police said Albright told them he intended to get money or drugs for the goat, but got neither.

RSFD? WTF?

Welcome to my little piece of cyberspace.

I don't know why I'm writing something like that, as if someone I don't know is going to read this crap. If you didn't catch the address, it's a not-so-thinly veiled reference to Dante's fourth circle of hell, where clerics bump into each other as they push heavy boulders. Pluto guards this realm and makes no sense when he talks. Kinda reminds me of everyday life.

It's up to all of you to decide if I'm Pluto.

Anyways, feel free to comment, post, argue, disagree, get pissed, but most of all, enjoy.

-Greg